It's been a while since I've done an off-the-cuff post; most of my posts are planned out, and I work on them for weeks - even months. But this one is being typed up now, Friday the 23rd, at 6:09am. So if it appears rough, sorry.
Only I'm not really sorry. Not really. Sometimes it's good to remove a polished veneer.
The last several months have been rough. Really, really rough. There is so much being called into question in my life: I'm seeing false teachings growing in the Church; I'm seeing false teachings growing in my local church; there are family issues (when are there not, especially with kids?); and the more I walk with Christ, the more I am spiritually attacked. Add onto that my own normal battle with the flesh . . . there's a lot. And I'm questioning.
I'm not questioning God, or His existence, or His goodness. I'm not even questioning my salvation (though I am examining it and working it out with more careful attention these days). The problem is the voices (ha ha ha!). I don't mean I'm hearing voices in a mental illness sort of way, I just mean there are so many viewpoints and voices in this world - both within the Church and without - and that I take Paul's admonition to test the spirits quite literally. But it seems as if for every spirit and voice I test, two or three more get in queue.
And one of those is always, most certainly, mine. Frankly, it's exhausting.
The upshot is that it has driven to my knees in prayer more times just in the last week than I think I typically spend in a year, and I have all but given up on reading what everyone tells me the Bible says and means, and have cut out the middle man - as it were - and have spent my time reading the Bible itself, instead. And it's difficult, as a believer who has the Holy Spirit, to read God's Word constantly and not have your viewpoint and perspective change. It makes testing the spirits a little easier, but it also reveals more spirits to test.
Like I said, exhausting.
What is really happening, though, is a lot of the beliefs that I grew up with have been called into question. There are aspects of my faith that I am now realizing are in direct opposition to what the Bible actually says. There are pitfalls that are old, but their pull is getting stronger. There are pitfalls that are new, and I'm rather alarmed at their presence.
But then there's Jesus. One thing that I am (still way too slowly for my personal tastes!) learning is that He is faithful. Paul assures us that He will ever allows us to be tempted beyond the measure of what we can endure, and, when we are tempted, will always provide a way out, in order that we might stand under the temptation and not sin. This is a very exciting thing, especially when I learned to start trusting that promise and look for the way out.
And the way out is always there.
I don't always take it (hence the "slow" part of the slow learning), but it is always there, and the times when I resist the devil, he does flee. So, while there are many, many questions storming and swirling around me, and many, many frustrations in life, there is a Rock - a foundation - upon Whom I can build. And the really good news? He can be your Rock, too.
If you don't know Jesus, I'd like to offer you a challenge: this week, read Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. All four Gospels - it's more than doable (I didn't think that was a real word, but spellcheck isn't flagging it, so. . . . .). After you do that, feel free to post comments or questions, even negative ones. God is an immovable Rock, a sure salvation, and your questions will not shake Him.
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